GRAND SCHEME REVEALED!!!

Alas, my beloved blog readers, I have neglected you so...for a dear cherished reader commented about my wonderful grand scheme...and six days later, here it is...for all to welcome with open arms...and to wonder why such a grand scheme has not been revealed before...and why haven't YOU paid more attention to my highly intellectual musings...

But, you must excuse me, dear readers, for I digress about the NO MONEY I make with this time-consuming, thought provoking, life altering blog...remember, my devilishly smart readers, that you make this blog happen...with the money I earn from writing these Nobel prize winner blogs, I can sustain my energy and life force...and I thank you, great readers of mine.

Now, if I follow my grand scheme (which I religiously follow...and the next time you meet me in person you will also agree I most whole heartedly believe in my scheme)...more money shall be in my pocket...not at first, but in the long term...and that's what investment is all about.

GRAND SCHEME REVEALED!!!
As everyone knows, money is tight everywhere, with prices increasing at an alarmingly fast rate, quality disappearing right before your eyes and robbery and crookery is rampant amongst us all (which politicians, the rich and poor all intimately know), how to combat an environment unknown to us?

Well, in layman terms:
BECOME OBESE BY EATING ALL THE FATTY PROCESSED FOODS FROM FAST FOOD JOINTS, FROZEN FOODS, MOTHER'S MYSTERY MEATLOAF, CANNED FOODS, PRE-PACKAGED FOODS, 30 LB CHOCOLATE EASTER BUNNIES, CANDY, CHIPS, DANISH BUTTER COOKIES IN A BLUE TIN, BAKED GOODS, ICE CREAM, FUDGE, GRANDMA'S OATMEAL COOKIES, AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT IS NOT NATURALLY FOUND IN THE EARTH OR TREES OR BUSHES OR THE SEA OR LAND...AND WHEN YOU DEFINITELY HAVE NO MONEY, LIVE OFF YOUR OWN FAT!!! AND MONEY SHALL ABOUND!

GENIUS? IS IT NOT? BECOME FAT AND DIET WHEN NO MONEY IS TO BE FOUND? AND, I BELIEVE AMERICANS ARE ALREADY EMBRACING THIS GRAND WONDERFUL SCHEME, FOR EVERY 4 SECONDS A CAN OF SPAM IS BEING OPENED! DELICIOUS WONDERFUL SPAM! THE CHOICE OF MEAT OF HAWAIIANS! AND LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY ARE!

Grand plan? Of course. I'm very pleased and self satisfied (I'm trying to wipe my smug smile off, ha ha) that I came up with this fool proof way to endure the recession and come up on top with my bulky frame (and won't that be a treat for sore eyes!).

Anyway, comments are always appreciated, and please, try to tone down the praise and accolades for this grand scheme. And please, don't try to steal this idea and make it your own. I am the first to blog about this wonderful plan, so no one will ever believe you devised this economy saving scheme.

Again, thanks to my one precious reader, the world now knows of my GRAND SCHEME! Hooray!!!

BTWC