DON'T DESPAIR....I WILL REAPPEAR!!!

Fantastic, wonderful blog readers, don't despair...for I will reappear...as soon as my mysterious red bumps all over my legs and arms disappear...and all day sleepiness is no longer near...and my comfy seat is ready for my rear...when my kitties run away from fear...and the computer room is finally clear...of clutter and stinkiness and a grumpy bear...I will be roaring to write to my dears!

Eggplant Disaster or a Genius Creation?

One of my dear readers tortured me with a picture of her delicious homemade eggplant lasagna (with homemade sauce I might add!), and I decided to make one too. Now, like the risk taker I am, armed with no recipe (and no, that is not a synonym for lazy), I eagerly bought all my ingredients for eggplant lasagna too! I assembled all the ingredients, made my homemade sauce, and created a delicious looking dish that weighs easily ten pounds! I even sprinkled parsley over the top, to add a pop of color on the brown cheese. Now, I made this tonight, and I am going to bake it tomorrow. The only problem? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK EGGPLANT!!! After I assembled the wonderfully aromatic lasagna, I decided to look up how to make an eggplant lasagna - and do you know what I discovered? You're suppose to cook/bake/salt the eggplant ahead of time to rid it of moisture and bitterness! So, dear readers, tomorrow, I may have a bitter, runny mess of a lasagna, and do you know who I have to thank? THE DEAR READER WHO SENT ME A PICTURE OF HER EGGPLANT LASAGNA WITH NO RECIPE ATTACHED! THANKS A LOT READER! I'LL REMEMBER THIS NEXT TIME, WHEN YOU ARE DROOLING OVER SOME DISH I MADE AND ARE DISASTROUSLY TRYING TO RECREATE IT WITH NO INSTRUCTIONS! AND I'LL LAUGH! DEAR READER! But, I will still eat my lasagna, regardless of how it tastes or turns out, because I am a pig, and like any pig, I need to maintain my piggish weight with whatever food is nearby. Anyhoo, I probably won't give you an update on how the lasagna turns out, and there will be no picture, for anyone who is curious enough to want to know. Good night, and good eating, my dear readers.

MUTANT FEET OR RESULT OF INTENSIVE LABOR? YOU DECIDE!

For as long as I remember, I've always worked jobs where I am on my feet non-stop. Hard, brutal labor, body aching pain labor, mind-numbing labor, brain turns to mush labor, type of jobs. You know. We've all worked them; I've had the unfortunate "delight" in collecting all of the above types of jobs.

Anyway, my mind-boggling question is: Do I have Mutant Feet or Are My Deformed Feet the Result of Intensive Labor?

Three short years ago, I wore a size 7-7.5M, a little smaller than the average size of 8M. Well, as the years went quickly by, and my life turned into a blur of work, work, work, something unusual occurred. Something, I think scientifically is almost impossible. My life sucking job requires me to be on my feet for 8-12 hours a day (horrific, I know! Inhumane even, if society knew what the word meant). As I drudge through my work day, constantly on my poor delicate feet, running back and forth for people I don't care about, my feet seemed to grow and started forming bunions and bunionettes...and you may say, wear different shoes, you moron! But, what if you had to wear a specific brand of shoes all day long, and your closet is full of these shoes...ones that felt great for the first couple of hours, but after the inhumane 6 or 7 hours of standing, your poor little feet started hurting everywhere. And as a result, size 8M are suddenly uncomfortable, and all you want to wear are flip-flops and sandals all day long (or go barefoot like third world countries - I bet their feet are free from corns, bunions and plantar fasciitis).

Now, my dear readers, honestly tell me: Do I have Mutant Feet or are my feet the result of intensive labor? And please, dear readers, think long and hard before you answer. Take a honest look at your poor feet, and let me know how they are. I personally think society is responsible for the deconstruction of my tootsies, and I firmly believe they should pay. How, do you ask? By buying all my shoes until I find a comfortable pair! And then purchasing additional pairs so I don't have to wear the same ones over and over again! Society - pay the debt you owe to me and to my feet! Pay!!!