Ahh, the delightful screams of youngsters demanding sweet confections from poor overworked primates fills the air tonight! Scarfing down chocolates and gummies galore! Begging for more with chocolate smeared mouths and incomprehensible greed! That's what Halloween is all about!
Do you hear the crunch of homemade popcorn balls? The shrieks of laughter as over-sugared children run from door to door? Banging and kicking and yelling "Trick or Treat" to the poor unsuspecting adults lying in front of the TV, and pizza stains on their pajamas?
Where, or where, are their treats? Why are their hands clean of chocolatey goodness and fat-free gummies? Where has the humanity gone? Why, as soon as you reach "adulthood," all the fun of being tricksters disappears, and leaves you with an emptiness only a fun-size Snickers bar can fill?
Yes, little children of the world, enjoy life as it is - for before long, you are confronted with no treats and only tricks full of responsibility. Long live childhood...long live a child's freedom...long live that delicious bar of chocolate melting in my mouth!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tuesday Nothingness
Blast that Bud! Can nothing be sacred from his fat bulging eyes? Can I not secretly chew on myself, or desecrate a newly vacuumed carpet, without his dull-witted eyes watching my every move?
I am constantly being watched, by Bud, Kay and Jay. Why, I ask, why am I so interesting? Can't Bud be on the look out for his next meal? Can't Kay continue her quest for chili domination? And shouldn't Jay be sabotaging her next pot - with maybe some flavorings of his own?
Kay only made the most delicious pot of chili because of me. My constant viligance of additional seasonings and hard sweat let her receive all the accolades and verbal praise due to me!!! Me!!!
I must go, for I feel their eyes on me. Looking over my shoulder as I type these words. Beware, public, of the watching eyes, eyes that never rest, eyes that are always on you - watching your every move...for if you take a wrong step, that may be the last thing they watch with their prying eyes...
I am constantly being watched, by Bud, Kay and Jay. Why, I ask, why am I so interesting? Can't Bud be on the look out for his next meal? Can't Kay continue her quest for chili domination? And shouldn't Jay be sabotaging her next pot - with maybe some flavorings of his own?
Kay only made the most delicious pot of chili because of me. My constant viligance of additional seasonings and hard sweat let her receive all the accolades and verbal praise due to me!!! Me!!!
I must go, for I feel their eyes on me. Looking over my shoulder as I type these words. Beware, public, of the watching eyes, eyes that never rest, eyes that are always on you - watching your every move...for if you take a wrong step, that may be the last thing they watch with their prying eyes...
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