Dullard's Discourse

Dum de dum, dum de dum, dum de dum,
Sloshing a tankard of delicious rum,
Stumbling over my gigantic feet,
As I totter towards a beautiful lovely,
Whoa! I stagger away from the slovenly,
Bumping into a table of drunkards,
Low and behold there's a chunkard,
Waddling menacing towards my frightened self,
What can I do except hide behind a tiny elf,
Who happens to be an angry drunk dwarf,
I save myself by using telekinesis to morph,
But wait, I accidentally split myself in half,
As the bar erupts into hearty side splitting laughs,
And I walk my bottom half to my top,
Wishing I could make this madness stop,
But alas, as the Dullard I am,
All I can do is avoid the wham,
Of a chunkards fist in my belly,
And as I spew all over the telly,
I decide next time I'll stand in line,
Instead of guzzling a bottle of wine,
When they hand out the brains,
And a Dullard's Discourse will be no more.

Guest Writer: Dullard