According to my BMI (Body Mass Index), I'm .1 away from being overweight. Fat. Pleasantly plump (so the courteous people say). Huge. Humongous. Waddle, waddle, waddle.
Now, I know I have to lose a few pounds or so (or maybe 10), but to consider me overweight? Who calculates this stuff? Who sits around and decides who's overweight, underweight, just right or obese? I was watching a show about a teenager who weighed almost 500 pounds! Now that's obese! That's overweight! Sure, maybe I have a few extra flabs of skin that shouldn't be there, or I heave up 2 stairs, out of breath, and buttery danish cookie crumbs falling from my mouth, but to say that I'm fat? I don't think so. My mumus are beautiful and comfortable! And my sweat pants have never let me down!
What defines a person as fat? And is that so terrible in our society - a society filled with greed, lust, conceit, back-stabbers, serial murderers and diseases that cannot be cured? How is a little bit of flesh going to harm anyone (except maybe me - but just a little bit). And do I have to live my life dictated by a society so focused on physical appearance? If I want another sundae, so be it! I will have gooey caramel dripping down my chin (or chins) and sprinkles melting in my mouth. I will live a life worth living - filled with delicious pastries, pizzas and delectables I can't even begin to describe. For Life is Better ______, but as of now, eat your way through life!
And then jump on the trampoline to relieve some of the guilt associated with enjoying food.
And then bake a batch of warm chocolate brownies, topped with ice cream and fudge.
And then run 5 miles to forget the happiness food brought you.
And then stop by the local fast food joint and scarf down a burger and fries and large drink.
And then lift weights at the gym with other sweaty and food-starved gym members.
And then pick up a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and a six-pack.
And then weigh yourself and calculate your BMI and remember, life is short, everyone dies, die happy.
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