Fatso got run over by a reindeer...

Fatso got run over by a reindeer,
waddlin' home from our house on Christmas eve,
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and BB, we believe.

He'd been drinkin' too much john slop,
And we'd begged him not to go,
But he'd forgot to fill his tummy,
and he tottered out the door into the snow.

When we found him Christmas mornin',
at the scene of the attack,
He had hoof prints on his forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on his furry back.

Fatso got run over by a reindeer,
Waddlin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can there's no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and BB, we believe.

Now we're all so proud of BB,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' Seagal,
drinkin' tea and playin' cards with white kitty.

It's so Christmas without Fatso,
All the family dressed in Brights.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up his gifts on this cheery night?

Fatso got run over by a reindeer,
waddlin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and BB, we believe.

Now the ham is on the table.
And the pudding made of fig.
And a green and silver candle,
that would just have matched the color in Fatso's eyes.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
"Better watch out for yourselves."
They should always give a license,
to a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Fatso got run over by a reindeer,
waddlin' home from our house Christmas eve,
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and BB, we believe.

Fatso got run over by a reindeer,
waddlin' home from our house Christmas eve,
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and BB, we believe.